Brawny Little Thing

We've been quite busy as of late in our house, doing over a couple of rooms, and I am finding myself exhausted.  I have learned one- hundred times over that child- rearing is an incredibly tiring daily exercise, albeit an awesome one.  Mabel is so energized, so courageous and brawny, and so curious lately that we find ourselves completely pooped at night.  J went to bed at 6:45, right after Mabel did, the other night.  We've given whole meaning to the term "old farts."  House projects combined with child care makes for two witchy and tired parental units.

Mabel is on the go now at an unprecedented degree.  She stands easily, and now makes her way down a surface, say the couch, for instance, by taking steps bigger than she should.  Every now and then she falls; she seems to look to us to see how she should react, and naturally we smile and tell her she's just fine.  Other times, she'll take a giant leap and step from, say, her Pack 'n' Play to the couch.  She seems to really get a kick out of taking steps but definitely can't walk yet.  I've been reading that around 9 months (which she's just past) babies are way more brawn than brains; they no longer look before they leap because they are so excited with their new- found strength.  The best thing lately has been Mabel's dance moves.  I know they dance and do Zumba at day care, but since Mabel can't walk or even stand without holding on, I assume she just watches and marvels at the big kids.  But every time we put music on, Mabel either bounces up and down, or does this amazingly cute shoulder back- n- forth move, which also entails bopping her head along.  I can't take any credit for this habit-- but I sure am grateful for T for teaching it to her.  J and I laugh SO hard!

Choosiness is another new trait for Mabel.  She's become more particular than ever before, which isn't always fun for us.  "No, I don't WANT to read 'My First Book of Colors' right now-- I want 'I Like Bugs' " is an example of what she seems to bellow.  We try to keep her busy and distracted while feeding her (she's definitely NOT choosy when it comes to food, which we are loving), and sometimes she really lets us know what she wants to do while eating-- from playing with one of her spoons to reading to mashing up yogurt chips.  And doing any one activity for too long is not cool in her book.  She will enjoy her "car" or her Pack 'n' Play or her doorway jumpy for bits of time and then wants new scenery.  It's amazing that she can be smiling and giggling it up one second then reaching up to one of us to be "rescued" in the next moment.  And Mabel now, at most times of day anyway, it choosy about how she is held-- wants to face outward toward the world.  She puts all her strength into contorting her body and turning it around while she is in someone's arms. It's rather hilarious.

We've also got clapping and lots of laughing going on, which we adore, but the exhaustion comes in with the chasing. We've got a couple gates up, but there are still various places even within a room we don't love Mabel to go toward.  Making all this more challenging is the fact that we are stripping wallpaper and priming and sanding and painting walls in a bathroom and in her play area and the living room.  We had to completely quarantine her play area, which before was a godsend because it contained nothing unsafe and we could just gate her up in there.  She's confined to the living room now, and there are multiple exits, and little routes toward windows and other places we would prefer her not to head toward.  Mabel ALWAYS seeks the most dangerous places.  J has a joke that we could put a million dollars in front of her or a knife, and she would go to the knife.  We lay out toys upon toys and all she wants is the remote control, one of our iphones, or a wire or lamp.  It's incredible.  I have to assume this curiosity is a good thing, and it's nice she wants to see and do new things.  But we get run pretty ragged and I just can't WAIT for our remodeling. designing to be over.  As of now, we have made a religion out of picking up gluey wallpaper pieces and various paint chips.  I swear we vacuum daily, but it's to no avail.  And then the irony is that the stopping to satiate her and keep her safe pauses the projects and stretches them out.  Is it nuts that today I was excited to come to work so Mabel could go to T's house and be back in the safe zone with lots to do?

Regardless, we are enjoying witnessing Mabel's little personality being formed.  She's still a happy baby, even with the gross teething she has going on.  She loves people and dogs, and is still obsessed with Elmo (we are not holding it against the puppet that his puppeteer is apparently a child molester-- argh!).  We see each and every day more ways in which Mabel becomes Mabel-- it's something I never understood before but am royally loving!

Voting, Teething, and Standing

Yup, all three of those activities have taken place in Mabel's life this week.  Ok, so she herself didn't technically vote, but she came along for the ride.  It was our first time voting in our new precinct, and, having to bring an infant with us, we were especially grateful for no  lines.  I heard some folks waited up to two hours at polling stations around the country.  Talk about patience being a virtue...

In addition to accompanying Dad and Mom at the polls on Tuesday, Mabel also cut two teeth.  One appeared on Monday, really, but was more visible on Tuesday, when it met another pearly white friend.  I know I have horrible eye sight, and I'm also not the most observant person in the world, but I am still unconvinced these teeth are "in" despite hearing so from both the day care provider and J.  I see white, but if that's what a cut tooth looks like-- well, it just is not what I pictured.  Still, an exciting day in Mabel's infanthood!

Yesterday, about halfway through my work day, I received a text from T (day care provider) with a picture of Mabel standing inside a Pack 'n' Play.  That's right, folks-- the girl can pull herself into standing.  It's been quite hilarious watching her attempt this skill over the past month or so.  She mastered kneeling a few weeks back, and since then, she has tried ever so diligently to get one foot flat, thus pushing up the leg, and then the other leg.  Despite her 'can- do" attitude (as evidenced by repeated attempts) she just didn't have the strength to push those legs upward.  When she did do it at day care, T said she was quite proud of herself, beaming and giggling, and refusing to nap.  Little stinker.  (Poor T-- Mabel is good fighting naps as it is-- now it's only going to be worse!)

To give her some practice, we set up her Pack 'n' Play in the living room last night.  This set- up is actually key because we have begun stripping wallpaper in Mabel's playroom, so she can't go in there for a few weeks.  Thus, now we can plop her in the Pack 'n' Play with some toys, and she can just goof around or try her acrobatics.  Last night she was tired from her day, and gave standing the old college try a few times but ultimately whined for help.  I came over and pulled her into standing, and once again she was happy as a lark, up on her two feet and watching TV, while keeping a watchful eye on Mom and Dad. 

These baby milestones are fun.  But what is interesting about them is that you can go weeks without a new talent/ skill/ habit, and then three things can happen in a day or a week.  I have a love- hate relationship with that What to Expect in the First Year book, as the monthly milestones are cool to read about and prepare for, but if your kid doesn't do them exactly as projected you freak out.  For example, teething-- Mabel is nearly 9 months old and just got a couple teeth.  Some babies teeth at 3 or 4 months.  And then there is the ambiguous language-- 'Your baby may be...' and 'Your baby will probably be...' and 'Your baby might even...'. Um, okay- so how do I know what's normal, exactly?  I've decided to read these chapters but take them with a grain of salt, using the pediatrician as the true judge of progress.  Mabel has done a bunch of stuff early, a few things later than projected, and then most right in that 'Your baby will probably be...' range.  No matter what source you use, it's neat to see the milestones unfold on their own, as each baby is different.  This week, J and I turn our gaze to Mabel's pull- ups, teeth, claps, throws/ flings, and happy shrieks.  Been a cool ride!

Baby's First Hurricane

This week, the Northeast endured the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.  It's probably unfair to New Jerseyans and New Yorkers to refer to the damage in MA as devastation, as they are experiencing HORRIFIC damage-- still, even five days later.  Roads are closed, power it still largely out, and people even lost homes and cars.  Residents are competing to get the rations of gas available at gas stations.  Entire sections of NYC were evacuated and later flooded.  My brother, a Manhattan resident, was given a rental car and sent up to Boston to work from his company's MA office since the NYC office is out of commission for a while.  It's hard to fathom that even in the technology area our lives can still be so thwarted by the powers of Mother Nature.

Up here. we had more typical tropical storm effects-- some flooding, some trees down, and a lot of power outages.  In our house, power was down for about 29 hours.  I wasn't sure how it would be experiencing a hurricane with an 8- month- old, but it ended up being sort of funny.

Mabel slept through the windy night, despite the howling, and even a few times when I will swear the house shook.  Being only 8 months, she obviously had no idea what a power outage meant.  I completely sympathized with my friends who have toddlers.  I'm sure it is a test of one's patience to be met with the whines of, "But I WANNA watch Thomas the Tank Engine!  Make that TV work!" Or, "Why isn't my food hotttttt?"  You poor things, parents of tikes.  You have my commiseration.

Mabel was instead almost creepily obsessed with the flicker of candle flames.  She stared at them for what seemed like hours.  Eventually, she seemed annoyed that she couldn't see well, clumsily bumping into her playsets and toys, unable to find her blocks and stuffed animals.  J had fetched, in addition to candles and a couple of flashlights, his fishing headlight, which the wearer dons on his or her head in order to see the rocks and waves and sands ahead.  Jokingly, J attached the headlight to Mabel's head.  She immediately had a blast, scooting all over the house getting into anything she could shine her new- found light upon.

When we removed the headlight, Mabel even fussed a bit.  But she was tuckered out from her adventures and slept well, even though I did not.  I kept thinking the window panes would blow in, cutting our sweet baby's soft skin.  I am nuts.  I admit this.

The other fun piece of all this was Mabel's fascination with Catch Phrase.  In boredom, J and I whipped out the board/ battery- powered games.  Catch Phrase is a mutual favorite.  Mabel shrieked and laughed with joy every time one of us hit "start" and the game piece would beep and light up.  Mental note for the future: if Mabel is bored or fussy, give her Catch Phrase.  Here were J and I, bored silly and on the brink of going to sleep even untired just for something to do, but Mabel could not have been more entertained by that silly thing.  It was a good reminder that simple things can be fun.  I've become altogether too reliant on technology and TV.  I needed the wake- up call.

Another Snapshot in Time

Last week, I had the yearly 'Parents' Night' at the school where I teach.  Thirteen years into teaching, I don't get as worried or anxious as I used to, but I still become a little antsy about meeting all these parents and giving them an effective presentation about what goes on in my class.  This was the first year I attended the night as a mom myself, and I've got to say it was a little different.  Never before had I thought how anxious the parents themselves might be on a night like this, and never before had I really wondered what it must be like to go to this thing for the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th year in a row as the parent of a high school kid.

One of the moms I've met a few times before, as I had her two elder daughters and this year teach her son.  She stayed for a few minutes after to chat, and to catch me up on the girls and how they are doing in college.  She asked me a little about Mabel, and, with a very serious look in her eye, demanded, "Make sure you write down EVERYTHING she does and when.  I hate that I didn't do it for all my kids, and only for the youngest."

Years ago, you'd literally need to write things down, in a baby book, or on a tablet or something.  We're lucky to have blogs in 2012 for this very purpose.  I could tell this woman meant more than to jot down Mabel's first word, first step, and first tooth.  She meant to record the little sounds she makes, and the first time she wore a pair of tights, or giggled at a TV show, or turned a page in a book herself.  She meant for me to write things down that would really let me have a solid snapshot in time of Mabel.  Admittedly, I haven't done this enough.  I think I've written only a couple blogs of this nature, and so today, here goes:

Mabel is STILL in love with Elmo.  And now it's not just Elmo, but any character with big eyes and a whacky voice on Sesame Street. She will stop dead in her tracks and turn her head around or upward to watch these little monsters.  Sometimes it appears she's concentrating very hard on the show, and at other times, she just laughs.  She's also delightfully entertained by her books, but these days wants to grab at them, and almost beat the pages like you would a drum.  She can flip the pages but with a very cute lack of grace and coordination.

Mabel "military crawls" all over the place, and with more velocity than you'd expect.  Lately, she has also been lifting her bum in the air a bit more, as if to do a true crawl soon.  Yet, many babies never crawl this way and go straight to walking, so we will see what she decides.  She's desperate to pull herself up, but doesn't quite have the strength.  We give her little boosts, and once she is standing, usually up against the couch, she goes nuts with joy, and then becomes adventurous trying "look ma, no hands" and "let me walk to the right and to the left a little."  It's important, therefore, for J and I not to go too far!

Mabel wants very much to remove that thing under the fridge that looks like it may just be there for cosmetic purposes-- that shield thing that covers the teeny space between bottom of fridge and floor.  It's of course not really clean, though, and we are repeatedly guiding her away.  This behavior is just one example of her tendency to go for the dangerous stuff.  We have baby- proofed the house now, but Mabel is still curious about wires and plugs and vases.  Put ten toys in front of her and she will crawl to the one wire in her visibility.

On the eating front, the little lady is now onto Cheerios-- as of yesterday, that is.  She's got cereal; pureed fruits, veggies, and meats; and of course formula down.  Water she drinks through the sippy, which she still doesn't quite grasp, no pun intended.  The funny thing is that she is obsessed with HOLDING the sippy, but the deluge of water that drips out (it's not really a deluge, but that's what you would think from Mabel's face) seems overwhelming.  Still, we get her to drink her good old H20.

Mabel is just barely into 6- 9 month size clothes.  Lengthwise, she needs them, for the most part.  Width- wise, the clothes are swimming on her little peanut body.  She has mastered sneakers, dress shoes, and boots-- only kicking them off about half the time which is a BIG improvement from her younger days.

In terms of sounds, Mabel makes an array.  None that resemble a Mama or Dada yet, but one that sounds remarkably like "Heyyy!" and a whole mess of babbles-- vowel and consonant mixes.  She babbles a lot in the morning, and a good deal when she's eating.  Her newest funny move when it comes to sound: blowing raspberry sounds while eating, causing the food to spray.  Hard to get mad when it's so cute.  Mabel laughs heartily-- at this silly "Hi- hiiiii" bit I do, and at Joe's dance moves and his dramatic sneeze bit.  And sometimes unexpected and seemingly weird things just make her roar.

Other tid- bits:  Mabel still smiles a lot, often at strangers but especially at her nearest and dearest peeps; still sleeps in the car a lot but sometimes just gazes or plays with car seat toys; sleeps around 11 hours per night, mostly on her side; wakes in the morning and makes, at first, cute coos, but then whines if we don't come get her; is often on all 4's in crib when we come get her, and many times at the opposite end of the crib from where she had been; screams and yells in delight which can be sweet or annoying (ha); according to T, makes profound efforts to keep up with the mobility of the bigger kids at day care by scooting herself around while they walk; seems to have the closest "connection" (they babble at each other all day) with a boy we will call Marc at day care; enjoys bouncing in the doorway jumper and Jumperoo; is sort of over her playmat and bouncy chair :( ; loves her high chair; enjoys time in regular stroller and jogger but often falls asleep; pulls at glasses and hair; tries to scratch our faces when feeding on a bottle- ouch!; takes a bath in the real tub now and loves it minus the initial loud sound of water pouring down; giggles at being tickled; rubs eyes like a madwoman when sleepy; drools but doesn't seem to have a tooth yet.

Over all, 7.5 months has been a blast.  Really loving this age!  Hope I will love looking back at verbal snapshots.

Genetics - --Way Cool!

At many points in my life, I have found myself astounded with the power of genetics.  I still don't get (despite good biology teachers and countless high school and college science lessons on DNA, and the double helix, and genetic make- up, and chromosomes, and all that other neat gene- related stuff) how traits are passed on.  Science has always been hard for me visualize (if I can't see the atom or the vector or the molecule, how can I suppose what it's doing?), even though I think many scientific concepts are incredibly cool.  But how do little cells end up making me look just like my dad but with my mom's eyes?  And how is it that I have some of the same idiosyncrasies, like waving my foot back and forth when I am nervous, that my dad has?  And how is it that teeny tiny cells made it that I have the same crazy worries and anxious neuroses that my mom does?  Finally, and most awesomely, how is it that people on my father's side tell me that when I laugh, it reminds them of my grandfather, whom I never met?  "You have definitely inherited his sense of humor," they say, which I take to be a compliment, but how is it that it just HAPPENED because of science?  Genetics are effing amazing.  Truly.

Since Mabel has been with us, my astonishment at genetics has doubled.  Most people say she is a spitting image of her dad.  She even has his and his brother's signature dimples, which were visible on the day of her birth.  Mabel laughs and smiles at strangers (clearly a trait of her dad's, who is friendly and personable all the time) and has her dad's fun temperament much of the time, yet evidence that she is her mom's daughter shines through when she gets easily flustered over dropping a toy (makes a ticked off sound-- very cute, actually).  She wakes up here and there in the night and fusses for a moment, but she always gets herself back to sleep-- this is me;  I wake multiple times per night, and eventually get myself back to my zzz's despite being quite disconcerted at first.  And earlier this month, Mabel had a faucet- like drippy nose, but no cough; alas, she appears to have Mom's fall allergies.  She gets a kick out of J's funny Elmo voice, and roars laughing at the silliest of sounds and faces both live and on TV (her dad, here).  Mabel is, in spite of her looking only like her dad, a true mix of us.

The whole mix concept is crazy when you really think about the fact that for 9 months, a pregnant lady's body is "cooking" the baby, and all the while both looks and personality and forming.  So much of what we are is predetermined and we are hard- wired.  It took me a long time to accept that personalities are as they are, and we're often born to feel one way or another, and react to things in one way or another.  I agonize all the time over the thought of Mabel becoming the Worry- Wart that I am, but I hope that my awareness of it will help her to manage it better than I do. 

I see these same genetic melanges in my friends' babies too.  For instance, my best friend's baby (who is my god- daughter) looks for the most part like her dad, but when she makes certain faces and grins I 100 % see her mom's side of the family.  It's unmistakable!  She has the fun, easygoing spirit that both her mom and dad have, and it's been so neat to watch her traits emerge.

As a teacher, I think about genetics a lot in terms of my students too.  It's horrible to admit, but too often I have said, "Jane is Sam's sister?!  What?! He was such a horrible student!"  When I've thought about it later, I have realized that the genes from Mom and Dad that have been passed down of course wouldn't do so in the same way with each kid.  Why would we EVER expect siblings to be alike, really?  Of course, nurture plays a role, and nature isn't the only factor in how a kid develops.  Most kids with good manners tend to have siblings who do as well.  But their cores, their inner- workings differ a lot, as they should!

J and I are quite similar in some ways, and totally opposite in others.  We have nearly identical taste in music and movies, in our political views, and in how we envision our futures.  We like to do a heck of a lot of the same stuff too.  But J is happy- go- lucky and worries when he needs to.  He prefers mathematical problems and tasks that require spatial reasoning skills to reading extensively or writing anything of length.  I, on the other hand, pre- worry about everything, for J, Mabel AND myself.  (This difference between us makes us well- suited for each other, as we tend to "cancel each other out."  It's sooo wonderful to have your mate help you calm down when you need to, and help you lighten up when the situation dictates.  And I like to think I aid him in thinking of little details and obligations that he may not have.)  And I love to write (duh) but can't put together a basic baby gate.  Thank goodness for genetics, and for the mix of traits that our children will develop.  It's exciting observing the little one and saying, 'She gets that from so- and so.' Big shout- out to science, and genetics, and all that cool DNA stuff I could never visualize back then but can now see before my eyes in the form of Mabel.

When Politics Go to the Bad Place

I want to take a post to reflect on something not related to Mom stuff: the current political brouhaha.  Actually, I suppose anything relevant to the future of the country does affect Mabel, and therefore is mom- related.  But even if not, I feel the need to vent.

I am all for lively political debate, and even jokey political banter, in the spirit of respect and kindness.  What I'm NOT down with is the mean, nearly bullying political warfare that makes its way to Facebook and even daily life.

A registered Independent, I make my way through the mire of each election by evaluating my priorities as a voter, and then matching the candidates' views to mine.  9 times out of 10, this process has me voting for the Democrat, but I can say with utter truth that I don't vote blindly.  I actually voted for Mitt Romney as governor of Massachusetts.  I'm not so far left that I fail to do my research.

What seems to be happening this year, and more so than in in any other election year that I can recall, is that people are downright mean to each other.  I miss the days when Facebook was a true social network-- when I could log on and see pictures of someone's recent trip to London, or read a funny quip, or open a link to a cool New York Times article.  I miss reading respectful political discussion.  And I miss not feeling edgy and anxious upon logging on, fearing what I will see today.

Statuses that refer to "Liberal Union F*cks" (the expletive being used as a noun and therefore as a monicker) or that make the claim that "Democrats boo God" are not only absurd but offensive.  And it goes the other way too.  Not all right- wingers are Tea Party extremist racists.  I'm so sick of the polarizing and labeling.

I watched the debate last night and, sure enough, was greeted this morning by a host of Facebook statuses relevant to it.  A few were witty and respectfully reactionary; others were biting, mean, incendiary.  Part of the beauty of a democracy is that we don't have to agree, and using scare tactics or bigotry is NOT going to "win" people to your side.  Most people know whom they are voting for by now.  Your Facebook status will do little to reform anyone's thinking.  And the mean- spiritedness of some of the comments is counter- productive to what it means to be a citizen of a free nation.

The other concept with which I take issue is making claims that are just plain wrong.  For instance, I recently read a status that read that "Liberals are in favor of killing babies even after they are born."  I think said poster needs a civics lesson on what the "right to choose" means.  And just because a voter favors the right to choose, it doesn't even mean that s/he is in favor of abortion personally.  It means that s/he doesn't believe in governmental intervention of a woman's body.  It means that the voter recognizes scenarios in which a safe abortion may be a better alternative to bearing the baby (ie, in the case of rape).

I have family members who are distinctively pronounced Republican Conservatives, and some who are vehement Liberal Democrats.  I respect them all.  Choosing a political party is an awesome right granted to us.  But when folks begin to judge the other party with cruel invectives and inappropriately skewed (and sometimes false) claims, I have to say I no longer respect you. Some of the comments I have read and heard as of late are of a bullying nature.  I was recently informed that my voting for a Democrat made me favor "death and the enemy" instead of "life and the lord." This comment is mean.  You don't know me or my religious beliefs.  I'm not an agnostic, and, guess what, a lot of people who lean to the left are not!

I am a voter who tends to gear my priorities toward social issues.  I am a teacher, a public servant, who will never make a lot of money.  Issues of the economy don't concern me too much when, frankly, neither candidate has a totally feasible plan.  Both seem pie- in- the- sky.  The financial issues are what they are because of years and years of various fiscal conditions and happenings; neither party is fully to blame, and neither can fix it entirely.  Thus, I tend to think about our lives as citizens of the US-- what we can do legally, and what our everyday existence can or will entail.  The rigmarole over taxes does matter, yes, but, really, taxes won't be very different a year from now no matter who wins.  What I DO care about are the rights of the people around me: specifically, the right to a contented life, with benefits and privileges granted equally regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or race.  The idea that some folks want to keep loving, committed people from marrying is more than absurd to me: it is anti- American.  And refusing to allow for science to advance via stem cell research-- this seems ignorant.  Finally, preventing a woman from regulating her body is, to me, intrusive and totalitarian.  I cannot often support conservative candidates for these reasons.  Yet, I am a God- fearing, respectful individual who can only imagine that conservatives take their value set as seriously as I do.  And so while I disagree, I will not fear- monger, or call them names, or make them feel like non- citizens.  That's my political soap- box, and as I watch Mabel grow, I only hope to instill in her a basic respect for others, no matter if she chooses to go left or right.

A Whole Lotta STUFF

I went to a sweet, sweet baby shower for one of my dearest friends yesterday.  Her family made it so special and personalized-- giraffe and monkey (her nursery theme) cake, cake pops, pretzel sticks, and cookies (delicious, and I should know, as I consumed ALL of the aforementioned treats).  The food was plentiful and tasty, and the company was fantastic.  And the gift pile was ginormous, which is a true reflection of how much people love and are happy for my friend J and her husband.  I know for a fact they are going to make great parents, and they already love their little nugget to bits.  As I looked at the gift pile, everything that was going to make the couple's lives easier upon their baby's arrival, it got me thinking--- there is so much gear available!  The baby "stuff" market is a profitable one!  And it got me nostalgic about when we were designing our registry for (what would be) Mabel.

We had one-hundred percent, absolutely, positively NO idea what we were doing.  If it weren't for the guidance of my already- mom friends, Mabel would've been profoundly lacking in the "stuff" department.  We spent a good portion of our first trip to the baby store giggling at products called "Anti- Monkey Butt" and "Butt Paste."  I didn't know what a playmat was, let alone that it's nearly a necessity for tummy- time (and I didn't know what tummy- time was either).  I had no idea that babies prefer wipes warmed in a handy- dandy little pod.  And I definitely didn't know the difference between a snap n' go stroller and a non.  Mabel's godmother gave me a superbly helpful book called Baby Bargains, which outlined products and rated said products according to price and quality.  It was this book, and frequent advice seeking from friends, that got us a workable and useful registry list.  I still don't know what some of the products are that show up on those annoyingly constant Amazon Mom emails.

But while we needed lots of things, from keeping Mabel pacified to feeding and resting her, there's also a heck of a lot out there that you really don't need, though the shops would have you think otherwise.  What a racket this industry is.  J and I could have been millionaires if we had thought of the extra head support thingy for the car seat (which, btw, is NOT a necessity, or it wasn't for us anyway-- I think we used it for two weeks, and only because we had it).  We also definitely didn't need a car seat bundler (this big soft blankety thing that zips up and into the car seat to keep them warm). That focker was 50 bucks and we have literally never used it.  A basic, warm blanket does the trick.  And then there's the nursery stuff-- I'm so glad people told me not to bother with a diaper stacker (ever heard of a drawer?).

Still, picking stuff out for the arrival of the little one is exciting.  And I remember enjoying it very much-- even wasting whole planning periods at work adding to and editing the registry when I should have been grading.  I became nearly obsessed with making it just right-- replete with the gear and "stuff" we needed but with no excesses (clothes-- never, ever put clothes on your registry, as people will very kindly drown you in all the baby clothing you need when the bambino/a arrives.  And even if they don't, it's way easier to pick up a few onesies at Target than buy your own stroller).

While I definitely was a willing participant in the great hunt for baby this- and- thats, I have to laugh at myself a little.  How did people do it before playmats were invented?  And before cribs were so"advanced" that they would become toddler beds later?  And how did people POSSIBLY clean bottles without a dishwasher basket and bottle brushes?  What did these absolute neanderthals do without a lightweight foam tub that conforms to the sink?  I mean, how did they get by?!

I'm not coming down on anyone, because I fell into it too.  But the baby gear craze is funny when you think about it.  It's downright hilarious!  We want the best for our kids, so of course we feel inclined toward the best products.  But what if a bad financial situation were to befall us, and we had to just do necessities?  Just wash them in the good ole sink with regular wash cloths (not the expensive super- soft ones) and put them on the floor with cheap, used toys, and drive them in the car in the same seat our cousin's kid sat in (I was too nervous to accept a used car seat-- what if it would no longer pass safety guiudelines?  Umm, it was two years old, not fifty). 

I'm trying hard not to overdo things as Mabel grows, partly because they grow so freaking fast.  But there's something about that preparatory time while you're pregnant, when the baby's face is only a vision in your imagination and you want to have everything and anything that this little bundle of cuddles could possibly enjoy.  I remember being ticked when a gracious coworker told me, totally in the spirit of helpfulness, that I didn't need at least 8 or 10 things on our registry-- that they were wastes.  By that point, I'd spent long, hard time revising the list, and I was excited about every little last thing on it.  And we were grateful-- so utterly grateful-- for the unimaginable generosity of our friends and family.  We needed to buy almost nothing after our baby showers were over.  So, I say, do what your gut tells you!  Buy away! Register away!  Do it up big- time!  And then, a few months later, you'll laugh at some of your purchases, and you'll start scaling back, but you probably won't regret the ones from early on--- that precious time when gearing up for the baby is your world, as it should be.