A Whole Lotta STUFF

I went to a sweet, sweet baby shower for one of my dearest friends yesterday.  Her family made it so special and personalized-- giraffe and monkey (her nursery theme) cake, cake pops, pretzel sticks, and cookies (delicious, and I should know, as I consumed ALL of the aforementioned treats).  The food was plentiful and tasty, and the company was fantastic.  And the gift pile was ginormous, which is a true reflection of how much people love and are happy for my friend J and her husband.  I know for a fact they are going to make great parents, and they already love their little nugget to bits.  As I looked at the gift pile, everything that was going to make the couple's lives easier upon their baby's arrival, it got me thinking--- there is so much gear available!  The baby "stuff" market is a profitable one!  And it got me nostalgic about when we were designing our registry for (what would be) Mabel.

We had one-hundred percent, absolutely, positively NO idea what we were doing.  If it weren't for the guidance of my already- mom friends, Mabel would've been profoundly lacking in the "stuff" department.  We spent a good portion of our first trip to the baby store giggling at products called "Anti- Monkey Butt" and "Butt Paste."  I didn't know what a playmat was, let alone that it's nearly a necessity for tummy- time (and I didn't know what tummy- time was either).  I had no idea that babies prefer wipes warmed in a handy- dandy little pod.  And I definitely didn't know the difference between a snap n' go stroller and a non.  Mabel's godmother gave me a superbly helpful book called Baby Bargains, which outlined products and rated said products according to price and quality.  It was this book, and frequent advice seeking from friends, that got us a workable and useful registry list.  I still don't know what some of the products are that show up on those annoyingly constant Amazon Mom emails.

But while we needed lots of things, from keeping Mabel pacified to feeding and resting her, there's also a heck of a lot out there that you really don't need, though the shops would have you think otherwise.  What a racket this industry is.  J and I could have been millionaires if we had thought of the extra head support thingy for the car seat (which, btw, is NOT a necessity, or it wasn't for us anyway-- I think we used it for two weeks, and only because we had it).  We also definitely didn't need a car seat bundler (this big soft blankety thing that zips up and into the car seat to keep them warm). That focker was 50 bucks and we have literally never used it.  A basic, warm blanket does the trick.  And then there's the nursery stuff-- I'm so glad people told me not to bother with a diaper stacker (ever heard of a drawer?).

Still, picking stuff out for the arrival of the little one is exciting.  And I remember enjoying it very much-- even wasting whole planning periods at work adding to and editing the registry when I should have been grading.  I became nearly obsessed with making it just right-- replete with the gear and "stuff" we needed but with no excesses (clothes-- never, ever put clothes on your registry, as people will very kindly drown you in all the baby clothing you need when the bambino/a arrives.  And even if they don't, it's way easier to pick up a few onesies at Target than buy your own stroller).

While I definitely was a willing participant in the great hunt for baby this- and- thats, I have to laugh at myself a little.  How did people do it before playmats were invented?  And before cribs were so"advanced" that they would become toddler beds later?  And how did people POSSIBLY clean bottles without a dishwasher basket and bottle brushes?  What did these absolute neanderthals do without a lightweight foam tub that conforms to the sink?  I mean, how did they get by?!

I'm not coming down on anyone, because I fell into it too.  But the baby gear craze is funny when you think about it.  It's downright hilarious!  We want the best for our kids, so of course we feel inclined toward the best products.  But what if a bad financial situation were to befall us, and we had to just do necessities?  Just wash them in the good ole sink with regular wash cloths (not the expensive super- soft ones) and put them on the floor with cheap, used toys, and drive them in the car in the same seat our cousin's kid sat in (I was too nervous to accept a used car seat-- what if it would no longer pass safety guiudelines?  Umm, it was two years old, not fifty). 

I'm trying hard not to overdo things as Mabel grows, partly because they grow so freaking fast.  But there's something about that preparatory time while you're pregnant, when the baby's face is only a vision in your imagination and you want to have everything and anything that this little bundle of cuddles could possibly enjoy.  I remember being ticked when a gracious coworker told me, totally in the spirit of helpfulness, that I didn't need at least 8 or 10 things on our registry-- that they were wastes.  By that point, I'd spent long, hard time revising the list, and I was excited about every little last thing on it.  And we were grateful-- so utterly grateful-- for the unimaginable generosity of our friends and family.  We needed to buy almost nothing after our baby showers were over.  So, I say, do what your gut tells you!  Buy away! Register away!  Do it up big- time!  And then, a few months later, you'll laugh at some of your purchases, and you'll start scaling back, but you probably won't regret the ones from early on--- that precious time when gearing up for the baby is your world, as it should be.