At many points in my life, I have found myself astounded with the power of genetics. I still don't get (despite good biology teachers and countless high school and college science lessons on DNA, and the double helix, and genetic make- up, and chromosomes, and all that other neat gene- related stuff) how traits are passed on. Science has always been hard for me visualize (if I can't see the atom or the vector or the molecule, how can I suppose what it's doing?), even though I think many scientific concepts are incredibly cool. But how do little cells end up making me look just like my dad but with my mom's eyes? And how is it that I have some of the same idiosyncrasies, like waving my foot back and forth when I am nervous, that my dad has? And how is it that teeny tiny cells made it that I have the same crazy worries and anxious neuroses that my mom does? Finally, and most awesomely, how is it that people on my father's side tell me that when I laugh, it reminds them of my grandfather, whom I never met? "You have definitely inherited his sense of humor," they say, which I take to be a compliment, but how is it that it just HAPPENED because of science? Genetics are effing amazing. Truly.
Since Mabel has been with us, my astonishment at genetics has doubled. Most people say she is a spitting image of her dad. She even has his and his brother's signature dimples, which were visible on the day of her birth. Mabel laughs and smiles at strangers (clearly a trait of her dad's, who is friendly and personable all the time) and has her dad's fun temperament much of the time, yet evidence that she is her mom's daughter shines through when she gets easily flustered over dropping a toy (makes a ticked off sound-- very cute, actually). She wakes up here and there in the night and fusses for a moment, but she always gets herself back to sleep-- this is me; I wake multiple times per night, and eventually get myself back to my zzz's despite being quite disconcerted at first. And earlier this month, Mabel had a faucet- like drippy nose, but no cough; alas, she appears to have Mom's fall allergies. She gets a kick out of J's funny Elmo voice, and roars laughing at the silliest of sounds and faces both live and on TV (her dad, here). Mabel is, in spite of her looking only like her dad, a true mix of us.
The whole mix concept is crazy when you really think about the fact that for 9 months, a pregnant lady's body is "cooking" the baby, and all the while both looks and personality and forming. So much of what we are is predetermined and we are hard- wired. It took me a long time to accept that personalities are as they are, and we're often born to feel one way or another, and react to things in one way or another. I agonize all the time over the thought of Mabel becoming the Worry- Wart that I am, but I hope that my awareness of it will help her to manage it better than I do.
I see these same genetic melanges in my friends' babies too. For instance, my best friend's baby (who is my god- daughter) looks for the most part like her dad, but when she makes certain faces and grins I 100 % see her mom's side of the family. It's unmistakable! She has the fun, easygoing spirit that both her mom and dad have, and it's been so neat to watch her traits emerge.
As a teacher, I think about genetics a lot in terms of my students too. It's horrible to admit, but too often I have said, "Jane is Sam's sister?! What?! He was such a horrible student!" When I've thought about it later, I have realized that the genes from Mom and Dad that have been passed down of course wouldn't do so in the same way with each kid. Why would we EVER expect siblings to be alike, really? Of course, nurture plays a role, and nature isn't the only factor in how a kid develops. Most kids with good manners tend to have siblings who do as well. But their cores, their inner- workings differ a lot, as they should!
J and I are quite similar in some ways, and totally opposite in others. We have nearly identical taste in music and movies, in our political views, and in how we envision our futures. We like to do a heck of a lot of the same stuff too. But J is happy- go- lucky and worries when he needs to. He prefers mathematical problems and tasks that require spatial reasoning skills to reading extensively or writing anything of length. I, on the other hand, pre- worry about everything, for J, Mabel AND myself. (This difference between us makes us well- suited for each other, as we tend to "cancel each other out." It's sooo wonderful to have your mate help you calm down when you need to, and help you lighten up when the situation dictates. And I like to think I aid him in thinking of little details and obligations that he may not have.) And I love to write (duh) but can't put together a basic baby gate. Thank goodness for genetics, and for the mix of traits that our children will develop. It's exciting observing the little one and saying, 'She gets that from so- and so.' Big shout- out to science, and genetics, and all that cool DNA stuff I could never visualize back then but can now see before my eyes in the form of Mabel.
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